Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
