I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
