the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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