I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
