You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
one might say we're banned from that church
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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