I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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