i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
