He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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