With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
