The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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