We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
