who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
