Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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