with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
two words: eviction party
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
