New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
