Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Too much gin, very little bucket
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
