Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
