So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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