talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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