he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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