"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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