That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
