READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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