It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
