their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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