Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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