Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
