She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
