Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
