I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
