I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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