singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Found the puke drawer
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
