I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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