brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
