I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
