what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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