I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
