i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
