you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
