Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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