xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
