I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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