Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
