I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
