sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
