I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
