I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
