so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
