I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
