what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
