I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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